Magnet
by thinkture
Summary: They're both made of iron - in will and in personality. Something's bound to come together. One-shot.


Antes de esta Vida

**Magnet**  
_A House, M.D. fan fiction  
Rating: T  
Chapters: One-shot  
Appearances by: Gregory House, Lisa Cuddy  
Disclaimer: I do not own House, M.D. the show, nor the characters, plot lines and everything in between. I only have my imagination._  
_A/N: Warning for language, implied sex, and some racy interaction.  
There is no specific timeline to this story, no specific season whatsoever. Your feedback - whether good or not - is welcome. It'll help me figure out if I can write decent fan fiction or not. Thanks!_

"HOUSE!"

The door opened with a bang and the fifth horseman—no, make that _horsewoman_ of the Apocalypse—barged into Exam Room 3.

House blithely ignored the enraged look on one very red Lisa Cuddy as he continued to suck on his lollipop.

"Dude, whoever told you that saline works just as well and is totally safer than the Big V is sooo totally wrong," he spat.

A very nervous 16-year old, bedimpled young man awkwardly clutched at the waistband of his pants, which were hiked up to cover a very hideous _bulge_.

"House, did you not hear me?! What the hell did you do to the MRI machine again?"

Lisa Cuddy, clad in her favorite Jimmy Choo pumps, resisted the urge to stick the stiletto heels of her shoes into the mouth of one very asinine doctor. Common sense, however, reminded her that he would probably take that as a sexual innuendo rather than as a real threat.

House refused to glance at her as he scribbled a prescription for his patient.

"Lay off the saline. Not if you want to grow man-boobs instead. And trust me when I tell that your piccolo may become a flute or, if you're lucky, a saxophone in a couple of years. Mine's a tuba myself," he smirked.

Turning even redder, the guy hitched up his jeans, fumbling with the zipper as he awkwardly took the prescription. A hastily muttered "Thanks, doc" was all he could say as he stumbled his way out of the room, still desperately trying to hide his swollen body part.

"You better tell me what that was about," Cuddy's voice had lowered into a growl, something that her staff had learned to fear over the years. A diplomatic Lisa Cuddy the administrator and donor-searcher was one thing. But a smooth-as-velvet-pissed-as-Hades woman was trouble with a capital E.

"Weeeell…" he drawled, "Brad Pitt there obviously thought the quickest way to getting the jollies of his Angelina was a little topical anesthesia and some 300ccs of saline."

"What the…?!"

"I know! No wonder his girlfriend got angry. He took her implants and padded them on his own! Kids these days!" Shaking his head, House held out his lollipop to the Dean of Medicine.

"Wanna suck?"

"That little stunt you pulled with stealing the pediatric ward's refrigerator magnets and plastering them on the MRI puts the machine out of commission for two weeks! Are you really that shitless?" Her anger level had gone up two notches for the past 7 minutes. The longer House continued to dismiss her, the more her blood boiled.

"I thought having something pretty for the cancer kids to look at while they get a full-body Polaroid would be neat."

"How about you getting a full-body cast instead, House?"

"How about you casting all your womanly, bodily assets at me fully**, **Cuddles? I certainly wouldn't refuse that." Wagging his eyebrows at her, House continued to suck loudly at his lollipop.

"I'm taking the cost of repairs out of your paycheck, House." Cuddy stood firm, crossing her arms together as she looked unblinkingly at her most unruly department head.

"It's not like you haven't done that before, Cuddy. Try to think of something new this time, okay?"

Pulling out his PSP, House was ready to embark on three hours of visual pleasure when his toy was suddenly snatched by purple-coated talons.

"Stop your antics, House. I mean it."

In a somewhat smooth move, House stood up from the stool and firmly clamped his hand on Cuddy's wrist.

"And I love you too. I mean it."

His face was mere centimeters—not inches—from her, so much that all the air out of the room suddenly disappeared.

Momentarily stunned by his proximity, Lisa Cuddy was unprepared when the man suddenly shifted and breathed into her left ear.

"I'd love to see how _mean _you can be,_ Lisa_."

She gave an involuntary shiver as House quickly took the opportunity to make his exit, PSP triumphantly in his hand.

Trust House to twist things around.

_What the fuck was that?_


End file.
